goodbye
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Smack: Bettie Serveert
so yeah i leaving for livejournal. this site ate some of my entries...so I am trying out another one. not that it really matters, but hey.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/petalsandflames/

SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF RIDICULOUS PLACES....lalala

she'd roll her eyes right up to heaven...
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Catch-The Cure
I feel pretty vacant this morning. man.

thinkin i might make myself turn off my computer for a few days. i spent hours looking up worthless information last night...well not completely worthless, but fruitless at least, maybe it will inspire some writing eventually. i guess in that way nothing is really completely worthless. we store our impressions of everything somewhere, sometimes the back alleys of our minds, never meeting it again until one night we go wandering late at night and it greets us quietly, or startles us popping out at the corner of intersecting streets...

at any rate, I just need to spend less damn time on the computer.

if you live near Dekalb,Il, go see Things Fall Apart on friday sept. 24...its my friend Brandon's band. good stuff. not sure if i am going to be able to make it though. :(

well, off to the gallows, I mean work. :P

hurricanes a-blowin
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Tell Me Ten Words-Idlewild
my sister now can't go on her trip to n'walins because of ivan the terrible. its a business trip though, so she wouldn't really have any time for fun. oh shit i just remembered my friend mark lives down there.

::runs off to email him::

I didn't wake up until after 11 today. feeling like an extrordinary lazy ass. now i have wasted hmm, i think its going on three hrs today online. I think its the rain though, days like this make me want to stay inside and do nothing or sleep...or cuddle. but I don't got nobody to cuddle with. my fish isn't really cuddly. this is why i need a cat.

i am really inconsistent with capitalization.

me, me, me...even i am sick of hearing about myself. *sigh*

oh good news though, at least for me...my friend who i lost track of awhile back, Lisa, well i randomly found a phone number of hers from a couple years ago and called it, hoping by some slim chance she was still around, and she was! so anyway we talked like crazy for awhile (she is a chatterbox, and when I talk to her I get like that too, its kind of funny) but anyway I am going to go up to visit her in northern wisconsin one of these days. it will be awesome to see her again. she was with me when I was overseas for a semester in college, thats how we met, so she has seen me at some of my most, well, interesting moments. we'll just leave it at that. :)

I want to go to chicago this weekend. I need an excuse. maybe my friend who is leaving for Ireland soon won't be too busy to have me come visit, I should see her before she leaves anyway.

I am going to be late for work if I don't go now. Its only a two hour shift. I don't think that should be legal. someone find me a rEaL job...

departing thought...poem i found, think i wrote it like 5 years ago...

In the time it takes to bleed
one second
there can be a transport
or descending
in the time it takes to scar
years or moments
intentions or chance
only depending
how thick
how sharp
the glass
>.>.>.>>...

"getting out of the urge to murder somebody, and into the urge to rawk" (courtesy ani d.)
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Somebody Told Me- The Killers
I don't know why, but this cucumber tastes like zucchini, but it IS a cucumber. cross pollination?

aaaanyway....so I finally got my work done. gold star for me.

someone send me money now, I need a tattoo. now. seriously. I am going to find the money by next week and then hunt down the tattoo artist. maybe I could sell plasma.

I'm feeling agressive too. maybe its all the coffee. grrr. I don't know if I will be able to stand working in the scrapbooking store today. I need to go to a really loud rock show or something. if I can hold off a couple weeks I will probably get my fix.

well anyway thats all for now. I need to go shower before work. maybe tonite I can get some sleep.

oh and I didn't get this job I was hoping for. The bastards didn't even call me. Just got some dumbass form letter saying, basically, nice job, but fuck you. whatever, it was at the local art center, and I went to an event they had several weeks back and everyone seemed unwarrantedly pretentious and no one said a word to me. So they can totally FUCK OFF. ok im done ranting now.

ah yes, but I forgot, no one gives a shit. right.

you! I saw you eyeballin' me, you wanna step? let's go outside...


har.

all work and no play makes miranda a little neurotic...
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: True Love Waits- Radiohead (live)
ah yes this brings back memories of college alright, I am cramming it all in at the last minute. funny thing is my mentor seems to compliment most of my essays that I write at the last minute, and the ones I take forever on, well, not so much. so, hmm...I guess that means I work best under pressure. I think maybe the longer I think about something the more convoluted it becomes. truth is I think too much. is that called obsessing?

but I think I just eeked out a poem so thats good. I don't know if I like it, nor do I know if I want to show it to anybody. its one-a those "dangerous" poems, haha. but really, anyone who wants to be an artist can't be afraid to expose themselves. hmm...ok that sounded a little bit odd. I am not endorsing streaking or public indecency. ;P hee hee. maybe I should not have any more coffee for right now I think its making me a bit loopy.

well I should get back to work. just thought I would indulge myself and waste a few minutes talking to myself in the form of a website. its kind of fun. sending unread missives into the web ether...

Jessica Rabbit


Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
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i tried to bribe the undertaker...
Now Playing: Honey- Tori Amos (live)
I just realized how awesome this song is. I mean, again of course...its like narrow knives in the heart, really. just the music of it. fucking beautiful. tori's piano can just get me like nothing else can sometimes. It seems to be one of her darker songs, but very vulnerable in many ways. Ok i have to learn to play this. I can't play piano at wall, but I am going to figure it out anyway. I do hear a guitar in there though. it really should have been on under the pink. *sigh* I am a raving lunatic after...well shit its not even midnight yet. bah.

there's blood in these veins...
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Shadows - yo la tengo
freewrite, after work

words, I use them endlessly, or these words, are they using me? this is not my poetry, my daily bread, my self-sufficiency...I do not hold them in my power, and hour after hour they escape me like the phantoms of my past and future...who will heal the sutures? what wounds may I inflict in knowing what I know? where do all these words go? released like breath they resound with death and life all the same...who is it that will say my name and know its worth?

not my usual style, but an interesting release.

first cup of coffee...
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: That Day-Poe
So I think today could go either way really. I think also that I have found another way to waste time. They are endless.

it really depends on the next hour or so...

here we go again...
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: how beautiful you are-the cure
so I am up late at night on this damned thing and I can't even get the background image to load. grrr. f*cking computers. I don't know html code and that sucks.

*sigh* i suppose i could try learning it.

my grandma gave me some cuttings of her plants this weekend so thats kind of cool...I like plants. sometimes I like them better than people. when I got home from being gone for four days my two pepper plants that haven't given me anything yet were up to two feet tall and one has flowers on it so maybe I will get some peppers before the first frost. but see, they're in a pot, so I can take them inside. clever, aren't I?

in other news I have alot of shit to do and I am procrastinating. but its ok its stuff I like to do and I just might be inspired enough to get 10-14 poems written in the next week. shit. possibly not. oy. gotta read some books too.

oh and the post office finally tried to deliver my bass amp I ordered, but of course, while I was gone. and we stopped the mail, but ah, they came. figgers. oh well I can pick it up tomorrow. speaking of tomorrow, it is tomorrow, so I am going to bed. adieu, and goodnight.